I started to cry.Reaching out, touching my cheek ever so gently she told me, "It's ok babyboy. Let it out. Have yourself a good little cry sissy." Then she wasgone. Back to her place in the middle of the couch.Pointing to a spot in front of her, I knew what she wanted. I moved tostand before her, slowly, without a word spoken. She watched me for amoment, which seemed like an eternity. "Down," she said. And again,without knowing why, I knelt in front of the woman who I had said maybeten words to since she had moved in.Reaching out, she placed a finger under my chin and raised my face tolook at hers. "Look into my eyes as I am speaking to you," I wasinstructed. And it was perhaps the hardest thing I had ever had to do.To see her eyes, to let her see mine, was to stare into each otherssouls."After today, looking into my eyes will be something you do often, butonly in certain circumstances and only when instructed," she told me."But for this first conversation, there can be no. Heather’s voice was becoming more and more soothed with each statement, so incongruously calm as she painted in the details of the destruction ahead. I could tell that this was no whim she’d decided on. Sure, maybe she’d just told her parents recently, and bought the car ... And maybe she’d only decided last night to come up to the concert, but clearly the seed of this demolition was sown long ago. Perhaps on the pier that foggy night when she wrestled with her past, or ... maybe even when she first found me there and said those two words to me, so long ago... No, this was no whim; the confidence in her soul was evident, now that the wave had crested. Despite the obvious anguish she was feeling at whatever this would mean for us, she was not going to undo any of it. What was broken, would remain so. Irreversibly.Her conviction notwithstanding, my own world continued to crumble around me. In fact, the conviction made it worse. You can talk someone out of a whim... But this is.
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